If You Want to be Everybody Else, You Will Lose Yourself

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” ― Oscar Wilde

There are many things you might admire about other people. Sometimes, their lives seem perfect. They appear to be so happy, successful, and fun that we would love to become them. But if we do try to become someone else, we lose a precious thing in the process: our own identity.

It’s a cliche to say that we are all unique. However, just because it’s a cliche doesn’t make it any less true.

All people are so complex that they are unique. We are all influenced by unique circumstances: our families, our experiences, our thoughts, our biology. Even if someone virtually identical to you was born in another situation, they would become a wholly different person. This uniqueness can sometimes feel painful: not everyone understands us as well as we wish they did. However, it’s something that also makes us able to distinguish ourselves from the rest.

The work you do will be different from what others do, just because you are who you are. Your creations will be unique. Even if you tell a story that others have told, you will do so in a distinctive way. And you don’t even have to try hard: it will just come naturally to you, because you are unique.

If we try really hard to become someone else, we are limiting ourselves. That identity becomes suppressed. It’s harder for us to be true to our own goals and desires, which might make us unhappier. But it will also mean that what we do and how we relate to others won’t be so uniquely ours.

If we try to copy those around us, but it’s not authentic, it feels false. It makes what we do less. We become lesser copies of other people rather than being the best versions of ourselves.

Remember to be yourself. Here is a good motto to follow:

“As much as I live, I shall not imitate them or hate myself for being different to them” ― Orhan Pamuk.