We, human beings, by birth are programmed to live together. We cannot live in isolation for the entirety of our lives otherwise, we would go crazy. That is why we are not all alone in this planet. That is why we were made in pairs. If you are someone you keep their feelings and thoughts to themselves, then you must be familiar with the feeling of heaviness.
No, I am not talking about the weight you feel when you pick up something heavy. I am talking about the heaviness of the heart. When you keep in, not only your personal traumas but, also the traumas of other people, your heart starts to feel heavier and heavier as each day passes by. There comes a time when you can’t hold it in anymore, and you explode. You let it all out and while doing so, you not only hurt yourself but, also hurt the others around you.
“What happens when people open their hearts? They get better.”
― Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood
Given below are the reasons as to why you must have someone to share your heart out.
1. You don’t have to bottle it up
As mentioned earlier, that bottling up your emotions can have horrible results which not only harm you but, the people around you as well. To avoid something like that you must have someone to share your heart out. Be careful in choosing that person and make sure they are reliable and trustworthy.
Keep in mind that there are people that can use your words against you when it favors them.
2. It builds relationships
When you express yourself and share whatever is in your heart, you tend to form stronger bonds. Every person is looking for someone they can connect with and that can be possible when you share your heart out to someone. When you share, it is likely that the other person will share some of their similar life experiences through which you can bond and build a relationship.
Brené Brown has very beautifully described this in “The Gifts of Imperfection”. She writes, “We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection.”
3. Vulnerability is strength
Sharing what is in your heart allows you to be vulnerable and that is strengthening. It shows how much you have endured. Do not fall for the lie that being vulnerable makes you weak.
You do not have to depend on anyone but, showing your vulnerable side can show how human you are and can inspire others to stop bottling up their feelings. Hence, vulnerability is a strength and not a weakness.
4. You feel lighter and happier
“The worst part of holding the memories is not the pain. It’s the loneliness of it. Memories need to be shared.”
― Lois Lowry, The Giver
People always feel as if a weight has been lifted off them after sharing their heart out to others. They feel as if they are no longer fighting a war each day right from when they wake up. As opposed to when you are bottling up your true emotions, you feel heavy and almost suffocated in your own body. But, the key to freedom and happiness is in your hands.
If you can’t find a loved one to share your heart out then do it with a stranger or write it out and you will feel instantly lighter and somewhat happier than before.
5. You resonate with others
Human beings thrive on feeling as if they belong somewhere. When a person keeps it all to themselves and does not have that one person to share their truest feelings, they can become prey to feelings of loneliness.
You can be surrounded by plenty of people, but if you can’t resonate with someone or be real with someone, then you will feel lonely.
6. You learn more about yourself
Sometimes, there are things that we don’t even admit to ourselves but, then we find ourselves telling them to others. This gives us a chance to know more about ourselves and become more self-aware which helps in other spheres of our lives as well.
Finding someone to share your heart out does not mean that we expect them to listen to all our worries at all times. Sometimes, you should take the role of listening without making it all about yourself.
In the same manner, sometimes the people we choose fit to share our hearts out don’t feel the same and that is okay. It is unfair to load your emotional trauma on someone that is not ready for it. Until you find that person, try therapy or write your heart out in a journal.