We often look for enemies in other people. He is judging me. She is letting me down. They are not being supportive. But the truth is that our biggest enemy, the one who can hurt us the most, is ourselves.
We sabotage ourselves every day. If I believe negative things about myself, I might hold back my true potential. I might let others mistreat me. I might let myself get hurt and feel like I deserve it.
You are doing this to yourself, and no other person can harm you as much because nobody else has such a strong influence on your life.
When you get hurt, often your own beliefs make the situation feel negative. No matter what others say, if you don’t believe them, you won’t give them the power to actually inflict any damage. If you agree with them, on some level, however, what they say can feel true and thus painful.
You can stay calm and not react to certain things. Even if the intent was harmful, they can just pass you by and leave you undisturbed.
You can choose to be an enemy to yourself or an ally. There will be no one with more power to either help or hinder your life, so think carefully on this matter.
Develop compassion for yourself. There is no reason to be your harshest critic – why not become instead your biggest supporter? It will give you a lot more power and help you face any negative situation with the strength you need to resolve it successfully.
Compassion is the first step. The next one is allowing yourself to take your side. Don’t agree with others who are disparaging you – mount a defense. This doesn’t mean that you will ignore your mistakes, but these can be managed with compassion too, not with anger.
Recognize your strengths, talents, and achievements. We all know our flaws and might be even too aware of them. But what about our talents? What about the things we are genuinely good at? Write them down. Try to consider at least one positive thing about yourself every day.
Celebrate your accomplishments, whatever these may be. Take a moment to recognize what you did and what it meant to you.
If you choose to be your enemy, you will probably win the battle. You can sabotage yourself better than anyone else. But as an ally, you can help yourself more than anyone else can. So make the choice wisely.
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