Your self-esteem matters a lot. It impacts the amount of confidence you have in yourself and the risks you take. A healthy, high self-esteem will allow you to achieve more and take risks more freely, building up a better approach to life. Here is how you can boost your self-esteem.
Keep your promises to yourself
If you constantly let another person down and failed to fulfill your promises, they would probably take a more negative view of who you are. The same is true in your relationship with yourself. Make sure you keep your promises to yourself. If you promise yourself a fun outing, fulfill it. If you promise to stick with your values, do it. There are some things you should never compromise.
For example, you might promise yourself to spend more time with your family and take more breaks. Even if work wants you to be there more, it might be time to say no and instead focus on what matters to you. Be loyal to yourself and keep the promises you make.
Know your worth
Write down a list of your accomplishments. What have you done that you can feel proud of? Research suggests that writing things down makes us process them differently, more deeply. Take stock of everything you have done and come back to the list whenever you feel you need a pick-me-up.
Also, don’t keep this list static. You can continue to add to it whenever you feel you have achieved something. Even better, you can try journaling a few times a week and writing down whatever made you feel especially proud, happy, thankful, and so on. Don’t be afraid to overpraise yourself, instead, focus on things that have truly mattered to you.
Don’t expect perfection
Perfection is a myth. There is always a way to improve or to be better. That is normal. That’s OK. Don’t allow the idea of perfection to cloud your judgment of who you are and what you do. Accept that you are perfect as you are because you are you, no matter your body, no matter your situation.
We often allow social media and media, in general, to plant a fake perfect ideal in our head – how to look, how to be, what to achieve. Let go of this idea by recognizing how impossible it is, as not even the media stars have what they seem to have, the perfect life.
Set clear boundaries
Set acceptable boundaries. When you allow others to trample over your limits, it makes your self-esteem fall, while asserting them is something that can improve your situation. You know your worth, then you respect your own boundaries and set them clearly. Assert yourself and ask others to treat you with respect.
For instance, whether you choose to drink or not, whether you allow yourself to say no, whether you take time off can all be boundaries that matter to you and that you have the right to set and then defend. Nobody should trample on these boundaries without comment or reaction.
Don’t seek approval
Building your self-esteem up means that you allow yourself to be the ultimate judge of your choices and abilities. You don’t give other people so much power of yourself as to be the ones to make your choices or evaluate them.
Instead, allow yourself to be your own ultimate judge. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t take advice from others, but that their approval or disapproval will not be the ultimate guide to the decisions you make or do not make. If others disapprove, but you are certain, you can go ahead with your decisions, strengthening your self-esteem.
Notice the positives
We tend to focus too much on our flaws and deficits. Our mistakes tend to be clear and distinct. Something that can help us improve our self-esteem is to focus on the positives. Take stock of the good and positives aspects of yourself, your choices, your situation. Recognize what you did right and now just what you did wrong.
Sometimes, this can be difficult because we are so used to focusing on the negatives, but you can practice gratitude by seeking out things you feel grateful for and self-compassion by trying to recognize everything that you are doing right. Write it down when you see it, and come back to the list when you are feeling down.
When you boost your self-esteem, it’s likely to improve many aspects of your life. See what works best for you and feel confident in who you are.