“Above all, don’t lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.” – Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Some people are amazing liars. They can deceive anyone. But being able to deceive yourself is not always the best skill. It can lead you astray and make you stay away from things that you truly want. But how do you know you are lying to yourself?
The first sign is that you avoid introspection. You don’t like spending time alone with your thoughts. Instead, you always seek a distraction: other people, your phone, loud music, or maybe something else. You don’t want to give yourself the time or the chance to realize something is wrong.
The second sign is that there are things in other people that make you angry. When you see others living authentically, doing things with freedom, it makes you feel upset in a strange way. You might be prone to jealousy or envy. These emotions can sometimes signal that you are lying to yourself.
The third sign is that you feel dissatisfied with your life, even though it seems to be OK. You don’t feel truly happy or engaged. It’s like you have achieved or are trying to achieve goals that don’t truly inspire you.
If you suspect that you are lying to yourself, you have to face the truth of the situation. It can be scary, of course. But the pay-off is certain to be very important and very valuable.
Allow yourself the chance to spend time with your thoughts. Think about what you are hiding and why. Go to someone you trust and talk to them. You might try journaling or writing to put your thoughts out.
There is not much point in lying to yourself. The only one affected will be you.
Instead, consider being authentic. Ask yourself what you want and how you might start working towards that goal. See who you are. Be yourself.
It’s not an easy process to become genuine with yourself. It takes time and work, a commitment. However, nobody else will succeed at being you, just as you will not succeed at trying to be someone else.
Stop lying to yourself. You will not regret that decision.