How do you deal with something that upsets you?
Do you lose your calm and start yelling at others? Or
Do you hurt others by saying mean things?
Emotions play a significant role in our relationships. And like other emotions, anger is natural and even healthy too. But it’s important to deal with it positively. Uncontrolled anger can take a toll on both your health and your relationships.
Anger can be caused by numerous reasons and situations like when someone doesn’t agree with you or some unexpected situation or due to others behaviours. So here are some tips to help you control your anger.
1. Think before you speak.
Anger can make you do unexpected things. It’s easy to say harsh words in the rush and heat of anger. Like many times when we are angry, we say some utter words to our loved ones which we regret afterwards.
And the worst part is words cannot be taken back, and neither does the damage caused by them. So it’s best to remain silent when you are angry and frustrated.
An easy trick, to help you remain silent when the situation is tense. Just slowly repeat in your head, “Take it easy,” or “Everything’s going to be okay.”
This will help your mind to divert focus and also create a positive space in your head.
2. Look for the consequences
Anger might be justifiable in some situations, but often we get angry on silly and small things which don’t deserve that kind of reaction.
For example, if someone mistakenly dropped coffee on your new shirt at a restaurant. You might get angry, but getting too angry in situations like this and creating a scene is not going to help you. Instead, if the mistake is genuine, then you should forgive the person there only.
Being angry and saying mean words to someone can permanently ruin your relationship. So before reacting out of anger think about the consequence you might face.
Whether or not the situation is big enough to react like that?
Or can this reaction hurt your loved ones?
This will be enough to help you control your anger for unnecessary things.
3. Communicate with the other Person
If you hold the anger for long, then you’ll explode someday and ruin what you have.
Whatever things make you frustrated, just talk about them with the person you are angry with. By having healthy communication with the other person, you will learn their intention behind the action, and they will also get what makes you angry and can choose not to repeat it in the future.
Holding a grudge against someone is not going to help you in any way; on the contrary, it will only disturb your mind.
As famously said, “Anger is a punishment we give to ourselves, for somebody else’s mistakes.”
4. Take a Short Break
Take a short break when you are angry and think more rationally about the whole situation. By doing this, you will understand from other’s perspectives and come to a better conclusion than yelling at others.
Like taking a small nap when you’re angry helps your brain to take a rest, and when you wake up, you’ll realize that you are not that angry now and will think about the situation with an open mind.
Or changing your surroundings can also help you control anger. For example, take a drive or a long walk. You’ll likely find that you’re better equipped to sort out the mess when you return. So take your time out and leave the situation, which makes you angry.
5. Look from Other’s perspective
People often jump to conclusions when they’re angry and often say the most unkind things that pops into their head.
When someone pisses you off, try to look from their perspective. Put yourself in their position and think about why the whole situation arise, what was the agenda behind this, maybe someone wanted to do something good but they made a small mistake.
Looking from other’s perspective when we are angry can be challenging, but it’s worth a shot when it comes to maintaining a healthy relationship.
6. What makes you angry?
Identifying what makes you mad is really important. When you know what makes you angry only then you can learn how to prevent it in the future.
Once you know why you get angry, it becomes easier for you to control it next time when the situation is similar.
7. Talk with your friend or seek professional help
When you start putting all the things in your head, you’ll get irritated easily, even small things will make you angry.
You will be amazed at how good you will feel by talking to your friend and speaking out all the things you have been holding against someone. You will feel lighter in your head and more relaxed.
If you are not able to handle your anger, and it makes you do things you regret or hurt those around you, then it’s best to seek professional help. There is nothing wrong in asking for professional advice.
8. Taking Deep Breaths
In the end, taking deep breaths is the best solution to release your anger. Whenever something triggers your anger, just take a moment and take 10-15 deep breaths, it will definitely help you to calm your mind.
Try taking slow, controlled breaths, inhale from your belly rather than your chest. This allows your body to calm itself instantly, and you’ll not hurt anyone’s emotions when you are not in your control.
You can’t completely eliminate the feelings of anger. But, you can make changes to how those events affect you and how you respond to that situation. By making a small efforts to control your anger keep your anger in check, you and the people close to you will be happier in the long run.
“It’s important to release your anger but what’s more important is the way you release it.”
Still not struggling with anger management, watch this video